Problem solve in your relationship

Perhaps you have ongoing conflict in your relationship and you are both feeling frustrated and about to give up. Recognise that your relationship situation is a symptom of deeper issues. If the dynamic is unhealthy, consider applying the following reflection. Learn problem solving and use SIFTSEM or similar to make decisions in your best interest. Normalise the practice of conscious decision making. When you make it a habit to make conscious decisions to situations you encounter, it becomes a way of life. Additionally, normalise appreciation in your relationships, so that you are not just expressing discontent. When you make it a habit to express discontent, your partner does not feel safe. They are most likely thinking , "What now?" when you want to talk. If you are constantly expressing criticism, your partner is constantly on edge, just as you are. Basically, that does not promote a healthy relationship. When you have something to express, sit with your situation and learn to address it with yourself during self-parenting. Ask yourself questions to get to the root of your situation. "Why is this a challenge for me right now?" Or , " "Why am I in this situation at this moment?" Feel your feelings and ask yourself what story of yours you are bringing into this issue. We come into a situation, a relationship or a challenge with our own story. It can take courage to honestly scrutinise a story we bring into conversations with others. This story is rooted in our beliefs. It is demonstrated by cognitive bias and distortions. Hear yourself out before you make someone hear you out. Let those thoughts flow and address them with compassion. When you have recognised the story you are bringing to any situation that you want to address with your partner, you will recognise what is your partner's and what is yours. When you have boundaries, you can recognise the futility of trying to convince someone to be any different. This does not mean to say that you do not express yourself. It means you know how to choose your battles and accept that everyone are choosing. And they have the freedom to do so. Parent what is yours and schedule a time to make requests. It helps to avoid feeling owed. Requests make sense because you acknowledge and respect. freedom of choice. When you bring freedom of choice into a dynamic, you easily recognise and value the freedom of others. You have no need to push against anyone and anything. A major red flag in your relationship is when you keep having to try to make someone acknowledge you. To make an effort to be seen and acknowledged. To try too hard. Conflict resolution hour is key in your relationship, because as two people, you have your differences. It is not in the interest of a relationship to imagine that there will be no conflict. You need functional conflict in relationships. It helps you to appreciate your differences whole accepting each other still. In those moments of conflict resolution, you might be able to hear each other out, and express yourself safely. Besides, even a conflict avoidant person can respond if they feel safe when they feel that the event will not turn into a battleground or they will not be attacked anytime about something that can wait for a conscious discussion. Problem solving is a muscle you need to practice in and outside a relationship. It takes time. But it can save your relationship SIFTSEM is available on Amazon SIFTSEM TOOL- Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.: A solution focused emotional-regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for triggers. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TQCYC7G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_HX9CZGHPC1RG1ZE8XQ60