Pointing fingers in relationship.

Somewhere out there a group of women streotypes and condemns men for all relationship issues.

"Men treat women badly, they say."

"Men do this to women, and men do that."

In all this women forget, these men are born of woman and mostly raised by her.

The behaviour of the man is reflective of how he might have been brought up or conditioned. How he attached, especially to mother, and also additionally to father.

Question is, where is the problem?

Somewhere out there a bunch of men is stereotypically talking about the sins of all women in relationships. Yet woman is the outcome of man and woman's interaction. Many women struggle because only the exhausted mother was the main caregiver, and father might have been absent physically or emotionally.

What is the actual issue here?

Perhaps it is time we laid to rest this feud.

Declared a ceasefire to this battle.

Put our differences aside and recognised that we are all responsible for the problems in our relationships.

Responsible as parents who contribute to the way our children turn out.

Responsible as adults for how our relationships turn out.

If a relationship is going great, we take credit. "My partner and I are epic humans", we say!

When things are going wrong, " He was/is a narcissist!"

"She was crazy!"

You are not to blame for the trauma that led you to stay with a person that you put labels on. However, you are responsible as an adult, for your behaviour or choice to stay where you do not feel safe. And also for keeping your children in that environment!" Who is going to act in their best interest if you do not?

If you were being chased by someone trying to harm you, you would run away. Pyschological harm is the same. Run!

If you were to commit a crime today, you would be held responsible for your actions. Yet, you do not hold yourself responsible for the crimes you commit against yourself.

There might be extenuating circumstances, but you are still making a choice.

Time to look within and stop pointing fingers. We all have a duty of care to our individual selves, to heal our relationships and to safeguard ourselves and our children. If the relationship is not working, we have a responsibility, to let each other go, and love each other from afar.

Heal for yourself!

Heal for your relationships.

Heal for your children!