Not feeling good enough?

Some people struggle with not feeling good enough, not feeling loveable or worthy. We all have moments of doubts, insecurities or feeling like failures. However, the length of time you might dwell on those moments determines your overall self-esteem. In moments where you do not feel good enough, explore what tripped the switch in the present. Tune in to those emotions and the thoughts that accompany them. Explore root cause and parent yourself. What would you do for a young child in your care in a similar situation? Rejection is part of life. But your worthiness is unconditional. You are enough. Learn the dichotomy of control. Let go by focusing on what is within your control However, we all go through these thoughts sometimes, but when we have coping skills and resilience, we do not dwell in that space for long.

Not feeling good enough stems from societal standards and expectations.

A handsome tall attractive man.

A slim pretty blonde woman.

The mistaken correlation between money and power.

Academic achievements.

The belief that certain attributes makes some of us better than others.

The good news is we are all worthy.

We are also blessedly different.

We are also all loveable.

We are awesome.

Unique!

We all have great potential.

We all bleed, eat, go to the toilet, get old and eventually perish. We have same activities of daily living requirements, even if others might need modifications.

None of those who we deem to be better or less than others have an escape plan from nature's processes. That is humbling.

If you are struggling with self-worth issues, the idea is to explore the root of your trigger.

Ask yourself why in this moment, you feel as if you are not loveable?

Is it because you are not in a relationship?

Or you have been rejected by someone you wanted?

Or you did not get a job or something you wanted?

There is a reason why we feel " triggered" to feel and think, then act in certain ways in each instance we do so.

Something in the present, trips the switch and we are taken back to a childhood where we did not feel valued or validated.

So, in our adult triggered moments, we relive these challenging unaddressed moments, where nobody was there to parent our insecurities.

To reassure us.

To tell us that we are enough, just as we are.

In each moment, or triggered state, it helps to recognise how we feel.

To identify this root cause, parent and soothe the self with the language and actions we needed to hear those years ago.

And then, to continue to give ourselves what we did not get back then.

Because, we are adults, nobody can do this for us. Even though we can find our circle or a relationship, it is only us who know what help we need to ask for.

We can then apply the reframes to acknowledge how hurt people hurt people. How our caregivers did what they did with what they knew.

How we cannot undo the past but we can change our future strategies.

How we can address the cause of the trigger in the present.

If it is a relationship, a job, friendship, or some form of feeling of failure, yes it is lovely to be in a situation. Yet, you cannot always get what you want, no matter how much inner work you might have done. But you get what you think about. What this implies is that what you focus on grows

Acceptance is key, because rejection is also a part of life. Learn dichotomy of control.

Recognise that you are not going to be celebrated or accepted everywhere you go. You will be accepted in the places that are right for you. Remember, the gestation process.

Accept yourself as you are. That is self-love.

Work on what you need to improve. That is self-love.

Do something to increase your credibility to you! That is self-love! You need you!

Recognise that your looks, money or social status is not the reason why people do not choose you. People choose from how they feel. It is not personal. Besides, there might be someone who is also wanting you to choose them.

But still, that does not mean anyone is not good enough.

What you can do

Practice gratitude for your life.

Affirmations for self-worth in front of the mirror.

Meditation to accept yourself and reduce body mind gap.

Deep breathing exercise.

Move eyes from side to side when distressed.

Learn to hug yourself and to love yourself with love languages.

Praise yourself and be your number one fan!

Set an Intention for each day.

Learn mindfulness and boundaries.

Practice SIFTSEM to apply cognitive reappraisal for cognitive restructuring.

Find your tribe!

Go out into the world and notice the qualities that improve character.

Help others.

Learn detachment.

Trust and allow others to know and choose what is best for them.

Respect other people's choices.

Choose someone or people who choose you. Do not force matters.

Let go of attachment to outcomes.

Affirmations daily and messages you want to hear from others. I am at peace with myself. I am a valuable human being. I appreciate who I am. I love myself as I am. I value myself as a person. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind. My future is bright. Happiness is a choice. I deserve to be happy. I am proud of myself for getting this far. I deserve to relax. I enjoy the present moment. I am allowed to say no to others and yes to myself. I look fondly upon memories of my past. I embrace my happiness. My future is positive. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08QLPH4GW/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_34HK77H32R84BQZHSVJB