No need to glamorise name calling

Aunty Google has made life easy. It has also made it easy to diagnose and label others, or a lover for various reasons. When he or she is not doing something you want them to do, they are diagnosed and labelled. Or if they are misbehaving or creating boundaries or yes, being outright nasty, the symptoms are looked up and aunty Google helps diagnose.

There are two lessons in these situations.

1. You cannot keep labelling someone and yet stay with them. The empowering choice is to leave someone without trying to diagnose them or assigning labels. If you are noticing so much data where someone is not meeting your needs, that indicates, you are not on the same page.

Their behaviour does not and need not invite creating a label, especially when this is a human being you might share a house and bed with. If you are going that direction, you are better off out of that relationship. When you start to label someone a narcissist, psycho or crazy "b" etc, it is time to pack up and leave.

2. It is time for us to collectively come to terms with the sobering thought that we are the same parents raising people who can become these adults we assign labels to, in future. Yes, they had a mother and father too.

These people are also amongst us and in our circles families and they might even be you. You might just be undiagnosed.

We might need to start learning about the childhood root cause of these behavioural outcomes in adulthood.

These behaviours are internalised or start in the very households children are raised by two adults who are at war with each other, in subtle or obvious ways. They start in families with parental losses, physical or emotional. They start in society, the very society we live in, one way or the other.

In order to heal this pandemic of individuals that we have to label, we can start with a compassionate enquiry.

We can also start with healing ourselves. We can even start with self-compassion and curiosity.

Heal for the children.