Mindset that does not improve your relationship outcomes

Your relationship problems are about how the other person feels about you, which determines the dynamic. Your relationship problems have nothing to do with how much more you are willing to do, how close you can get to them, how much you have in common, or the present relationship status. If your relationship is not healthy, no amount of being close physically or having a certificate is likely to improve the outcomes. You might spend a lot of time together, but yet be emotionally disconnected due to the dynamic. Getting married when the relationship is not healthy is not going to improve it. In fact, you are better off breaking up or holding off commitment. Moving in together when you are constantly fighting is not going to make you love each other more. Staying around for things to improve is not likely to work in your favour. This is just a control tactic. People need to choose to change without you trying to manage their change Starting a business together is not the solution to your relationship problems. In fact, that can increase the pain of seperation when you constantly see someone who does nor want to be with you. Constantly initiating and trying to please, hoping they will notice you is not going to improve your dynamic. They know what they are supposed to do. They are choosing. Making life easy for them, by travelling to them, paying their bills, giving them accommodation and gifts is not likely to make them love you. Having children is not going to hold your unhealthy relationship together. You just bring more victims into the equation. Being nice to their family and friends to keep them close is not going to make them feel differently if they are not into you.

Telling them what to do is not likely to make them love you if they do not. You cannot talk someone into loving you. Trying to interfere with a relationship your partner is having with someone else is not likely to improve your own relationship. It is your partner choosing and they can choose another third party. Resolve your relationship issues instead.

Not managing your anxiety and then reacting, complaining, attacking and drama will turn them off.

The third party can be anyone. They are not the reason for the problems in your relationship. Your dynamic is most likely not sitting on a solid foundation. What can improve your life, and sometimes your dynamic is to focus on yourself and how the relationship makes you feel. Learn to detach and manage your anxiety. Learn to be present, to be in the moment. Start self-care and learn to make decisions in your best interest. When you invest in yourself and commit to yourself, you can begin to feel safe in your body and therefore feel good. Allow the other person to choose, even if they do not choose you. If they choose to leave the relationship, let them. Grieve and move on. Short term pain of healing helps. People love and respect people who love and respect themselves. You can therefore start to choose situations that also feel good.