Loving too much as the consequence of societal influence

By looking for relationship where you are needed , you are attempting to avoid anguish and despair. You might apply this childhood strategy, not only from conditioning, but also from societal influence and the excitement of drama in relationships on screen and literature.

You might have developed underlying depression, the roots of which trace back to your painful childhood. Depression is a common in children from severely dysfunctional homes. How you might deal with the depression depends on sex, disposition, and childhood role in the family. You might keep the depression at bay by loving too much through stimulating chaotic and distracting interactions with unhealthy partners. You might be too excited to sink into the depression. It therefore lingers just under the level of awareness. If you meet a partner who equally comes from a dysfunctional background, who has unhealthy behaviours, and is difficult partner becomes for you the equivalent of a drug. The partner helps to create a means of avoiding your own feelings. The relationship offers you a temporary avenue of escape, and one from which you dare not be separated. These toxic relationships provide you with distraction and contribute their own cargo of pain. Without the relationship and to be alone is worse for you than being in the toxic relationship. Alone you will strive childhood pain as well as present pain. For alcoholic parents, their children can join Al-Anon groups support them to improve their self-esteem and with relationships. Relationship recovery require an appropriate support group to break the cycle of addiction, to learn to improve self-worth and well-being from other sources not men or relationships. Learn to live your life without a partner. Your desire to heal from enmeshed toxic relationships can be hampered by the conviction that you can handle the problem by yourself. Your life has to get hopelessly unmanageable before you can seek help. Both suffering for love and being addicted to a relationship are romanticized by our culture. We are surrounded by countless examples of unrewarding, immature relationships that are glorified and glamorized. We believe the depth of love can be measured by the pain it causes and that those who truly suffer, truly love. Singers croons about not being able to stop loving someone even though it hurts so much. We are constantly exposed to suffering as a natural part of love and the willingness to suffer for the sake of love something positive. Models of healthy relating are important that are non manipulative, honest, and mature and non manipulative and non exploitative ways. Relationships with non-defensive and caring communication, no secrets, lies and no manipulations. We need to see situations where no'one is willing to be another person’s else’s victim and no victimising partner. On television and books healthy relationships lack drama than toxic relationships and are therefore less portrayed We are plagued by unhealthy relationships because they are all we see and know. All round we see jealousy, manipulation, revenge, exploitation, sarcasm, traps, lies, threats , coercion depicted. The way we love happens in context. Society's view of love has damaging short comings of immature approach of trading the excitement of tension and stress for intimacy.

We need to start filtering what we consume and work. This helps us work towards healthy bonds to potray new healthy relating examples. We are the role models for future generations..