Love on the Second Level

Love on three levels is a concept of you, immediate circle and greater good.

Second Level

We are born in community and we thrive in community.

You are born in a family, you grow up in a family and you maintain family bonds, one way of the other. Whatever you have managed to achieve in this life or done was supported by others.

There were other people who were there with you, guiding you, evaluating you, or giving you some support and cheering.

Maintain these relationships in one way or the other in this life. In the second level you have your family, parents, children, siblings and extended family; friends; colleagues; neighbours; teachers; therapists or anyone who is close to you, as well as your romantic partner.

These people will support you to co-parent yourself in one way or the other.

You hold space, for one another. You give and receive love with the five languages and five senses.

The second level is a source of triggers where we learn to manage conflict. These are your children who throw tantrums, your partner who tests your boundaries, your friends who might get into your personal space, or your family who might believe they know what is best for you and your colleagues who might make you feel disposable.

Before the second level, address your life questions and triggers alone with SIFTSEM. Self-parent and then identify where you might need extra support.

After SIFTSEM, sometimes you do not need any extra support. Or you might need some confirmation about something or simply simply need human connection.

SIFTSEM prevents emotional dependence and allows all your other relationships relationship to breath and thrive.

Before you expect others to hold space for you, hold space for yourself. You are the only person who can feel your feelings and think your thoughts and reframe them.

If you are unable to sit with your triggers, it can be frustrating when people are not available to answer your questions at all times.

You might also end up projecting your pain on others, trying to assign blame.

Parent yourself before you seek support from your friends, family support groups or a therapist.

Practice self-parenting and get used to tapping into your inner resources and to problem-solve on your own. You can then go to your second level to confirm and get extra resources.

Maintain these immediate relationships in and out of romantic relationships

. Do not ditch friends and family because you met a man or a woman. You will need these relationships for giving your partner space, for emotional support and when you break up.

Emotional dependence is a relationship killer and leads to toxic relationships. People might have expectations on a partner to do everything for them. Your partner is exhausted with looking after themselves.

Even if they are your partner or friends, they owe you nothing. They choose. It also does not mean to say they are going to be there at all times. You need to be able to be there for yourself. To be resourceful enough to take care of your own needs, before you can then share your experience with a partner, or others where necessary.

Love on three levels is on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08W87WLQ8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_C79VT9MBEVB4D38MBPW4

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