Looking for love in the wrong places.

Many times when we are still not aware of the importance of loving ourselves we tend to look for love in the wrong places.

We get into relationships that are not good for us , where our feelings are not validated and our needs are not met. This love brings us pain and requires us to make a lot of effort.

Here are examples that someone is looking for love in the wrong places:

1. Over functioning and over compensating to be appreciated by a man.

2. Over explaining and constantly apologising and validating the man in relationship.

3. Buying the man gifts to impress him.

4. Constantly breaking up and getting back together.

5. Not taking action or sticking around when someone is cheating.

6. Putting up with emotional and physical abuse without leaving, reporting physical abuse to police or enforcing boundaries.

7. Fighting other women about a man out of jelous.

8. Making excuses for a partner's bad behaviour.

9. Taking care of a man financially because that is the only way he will stay

10. Rushing a relationship without getting to know the person.

11. Having sex hoping it will make someone love us.

12. Being too sexual in the relationship. This can be used as a trade off.

13. Expecting a relationship too soon or being heartbroken before meeting a person one might only have chatted with.

14. Claiming a man who is not claiming her.

15. Constantly trying to ask the other person to confirm how much they love us.

16. Dating a married man or a man who is in another relationship.

17. Staying in a relationship where one cannot express their needs without the conversation erupting into conflict.

18. Living with someone who does not want sexual intimacy with us when we used to have sex before. This becomes an issue if one party is not happy with this situation whether addressed or not.

19. Staying in a relationship where one is miserable because it is a relationship. A situation of something is better than nothing.

20. Staying in a relationship where one is constantly disrespected.

21. Refusing to break up with somebody who is choosing to leave.

22. Falling pregnant to stay with a man

23.Getting into relationships to avoid being lonely.

When we learn to love ourselves, we understand that love is easy and not a reason to make too much effort. We therefore choose the path of least resistance where love is given easily. Whenever love starts to become too difficult it might be time to assess how all parties are showing up and having conversations around boundaries and what is acceptable. Staying in a wrong or bad relationship can be a waste of time because some people will hold on until they lose interest. Other will simply stay until they find someone who inspires them to be better.

No man is your last chance.

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