Loneliness following a break up

Struggling with loneliness following a break up

When you are not used to being alone and struggle following a break up, it can be challenging.

You might find yourself looking for relationship early on. You might also spend time with friends, family and not take space to be on your own. That might not helpful long term.

However, this is not your fault and you might need to explore inner child work.

Yes, you are used to the connection with someone, and it matters that yoy connect with others. Yet, it is also time to learn to be comfortable with your aloneness.

When you struggle with loneliness, learn to tune into the emotions and identify root cause. Parent yourself and apply solutions. Create a plan to spend small incremental amounts of time alone. This requires discipline.

You might start by spending mornings alone, then whole days and then graduate to day and night, weekends and whole weeks and eventually, be comfortable alone.

The idea is to invest in yourself and plan activities where you spend time away from people you know first, then away from people completely at times.

Look for a friend or someone to hold you accountable. For example, someone you hang out with a lot can remind you of your promise to yourself. You can request that they spend a certain amount of time with you and allow you the discomfort, the rest of the time.

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Look into codependency and learned helplessness. You can seek counselling and therapy also. When you struggle with aloness, parent yourself. Imagine a safe space where you meet your inner child and spend time with yourself. Soothe yourself like a child. Meditate and practice gratitude while feeling your feelings. Reframe your thoughts.. While alone, learn to journal, to make art and to draw or play an instrument. Invest in creativity and hobbies Learn a language.

Go for walks in nature. Go out on dates alone. Practice quantum dating. Buy yourself gifts and flowers. Write yourself love notes. Hug yourself and praise yourself. Be your number one fan. Do things you love. Things you would not have done in a relationship. Travel alone.

Recognise that you have it in you to spend time alone. To also invest in your second level with boundaries. Spend time with people who nurture, not enable you. With intention and support you can get into a safer space.

The SIFTSEM Journal: The self-healer`s diary to develop emotional awareness and self-management in 90 days. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_01VVSSHG1EQQQ18ZD9CE

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