Learning to trust the process

In Africa we have a proverb, "Some people can die from thirst while their legs are in water." We might be in a place where we are in a position to achieve our goals or receive what we want. However, we might not notice that we have all that we require to achieve our wants because we might not be in receiving mode or a state of allowing.

A state of allowing requires surrender and trusting the process and trusting others. This trust comes with trusting ourselves and acknowledging what is and what is not in our control. Accept all, focus on what is within our control and let go of what outside our control

A state of allowing is not just a spiritual phenomenon of honing your intuition to discover what life is giving us. It is also a pyschological concern as it pertains to mindset that prevents us from being aware . It is also be a physical as we might put something, someone or ourselves in the way of what might be coming in. Finally it is social issue because our attitudes and therefore interaction with others can determine how things turn out for us.

Every day we ask questions or ask for something by looking at it, praying for it or appreciating it. By complaining about something or hating it, we also send a request for its exact opposite.

The universe does not say no to any request. In fact the universe says yes to everything we are focused upon. As we ask for what we want one way or the other, it is given. We prepare the soil, plant a seed, it starts to germinate, to grow , to bloom, produce the crop and ripen.

The important part of what is given is that, if we ask for a healthy relationship, it is given as a healthy relationship, not as John from high school who we like because he is handsome. The universe wants to give us a whole package of inner handsome leading to peace of mind.

There is another important part. We might sometimes not harvest what we seek, because we are not in receiving mode or a state of allowing.

When we are focused on the absence of what we want, and so we keep getting "the absence of what we want!" The universe says yes to our dominant focus.

Simple pyschological explanation, while focusing on the unwanted we are focusing on problems not solutions. Socially, we might be complaining all the time and therefore a bad influence and difficult to help or connect with.

We can also contradict ourselves when we want something, but focus on negative thoughts, focusing on what others are doing and being critical, resentful and unappreciative.

Another way of blocking ourselves which is linked to mindset, is looking for a person instead of a situation.

The gestation process

We also need to understand the gestation process. Cooperative components that can help us to achieve our goals come into our lives at each and every stage. These components start from preparing the soil for planting of a seed to the harvest or accomplishment of goals.

When a seed is planted, it goes through a process. That is the same process our requests goes through.

If a seed does not germinate, we plant another. If a plant is wilting, we might water it. If it is not growing, we might fertilise it.

Example process

If you are looking for healthy relationship, your answer might not come in the form of a relationship right away. The cooperative components you get might start with meeting people who suggest that you seek. They might perhaps recommend or help you with healing first.

In one community you might meet a new friend who will take you out. While out you meet and add new people on Facebook.

You might then receive a friend request on Facebook from a mutual friend of one of these people and and create a healthy relationship.

You then apply your lessons from healing to co-create a healthy relationship.

Attaching to outcomes

Socially and physically, if we are keeping around someone or who is not giving us healthy relationships, we are not creating space for another person who might give us a healthy relationship. We might keep limiting beliefs too, which block what might come out from healthy beliefs. That is simple maths.

We attach to outcomes when we cannot let go of old ideas and do not accept helpful guidance due to keeping grudges and thinking that there is someone better equipped to give us advice. Yet, we might be ignoring the very support or advice or people the universe has allocated to support us and give us guidance that is in our best interest.

Additionally, we might hold on to the idea of a person not a situation. Rather than focus on finding a healthy situation, we might get stuck on John or Mary. The very focus on John or Mary who is not a good match creates more resistance while trying to change this person to become what we want.

Simply put, we resist what is supposed to be coming into our lives by prescribing exactly how it should be, including the name. The challenge with the name we put to our goals is that, we ought to be on a different plane of existence to have it all.

Attaching to outcomes is what leads to trying to staying stuck in our rut.

Discernment is therefore key.

Ways to get into receiving mode

The key is to trust and allow what is happening without getting in the way. Detach and be in the moment. Just be, do not do! Learn to be an observer instead of getting in the space at all times.

The secret to detachment lies in focus and feeling. Make yourself your dominant focus and pay attention to how you feel and calibrate yourself to better feeling thoughts.

1. Go general in your requests and do not block yourself by getting in your own way, with your thoughts.

2. Trust others to know what is best for them to avoid getting in your way socially, ny trying to control outcomes.

3. When you ask with spirit, do not block with your body by being impatient and taking action. Trust the process. Be patient.

4. Look for a situation not a specific person for the wrong reasons. This means, weed off the wrong matches.

5. Do not judge people according to your conditioning criterion. The universe can give you a healthy relationship with a person you did not expect would be the right match.

6. Do not hold on to people and things. You need to trust the process and keep detaching to create space for the right things and people to gravitate towards you.

7. Plant your seed and detach. You cannot will a seed to germinate while sitting there and waiting for it. You trust that it will germinate and grown to bear fruit. If not, you plant another, you do not fight the soil.

8. You help yourself by staying in a constant state of appreciation.

9. Learn to choose your battles.

10. Focus within and soothe your triggers.

11. Focus on solutions not problems.

12. Leave other people to their own paths.Do not force.

13. Step out of your comfort zone.

14. Combat pride. Be teachable.

15. Do not look down on anyone. Everyone you meet is a cooperative component for you in some way.

16. Pay attention to each person whose path you cross, the communities to which you are being invited. Find out why you are there.

17. Pay attention to your intuition, not your anxiety. You are on your way to something wonderful, even though you might not like where yoy are. Abraham. You need tools for the state of allowing, or to live a peaceful life. This is why you require self-management skills for self-control, self-parenting and soothing, decision-making as well as social awareness. This is the point of having a routine that addresses the physical, social, pyschological and spiritual dimensions of existence. That is the reason love on three levels and SIFTSEM were created.