Learning love languages

When you are healing, an area to address is learning to understand that you might need to have a grasp of your languages. You might present with trauma languages, not necessarily accurate love languages. It is helpful to recognise how much you bid for your needs to be met, because that on its own can reveal whether your love languages are a trauma response or a healthy expression of needs. Because when you have worked on your self-love, you can easily parent yourself and give yourself the love you need. You can then observe how a partner responds to your needs in the relationship. Look into the following 1. Perhaps you migh6 believe your primary love language is touch because you did not get touch in childhood. That might indicate how starved you are of touch. Or you might believe that because that is how you were loved, that is your priority love language. 2. Love languages require a balance and are all important. This is indicated where you might prefer touch, get touch , but your relationship still struggles because your partner does not do acts of service or give you gifts. Or you might complain about this area not being as good as that area. Whether you prefer quality time or acts of service, you still need gifts and words of affirmations. Gifts are tricky because when we think gifts, we think of the shops.. But gifts can be even parts of the other love languages. 3. When you learn to love yourself with five love languages, you certainly will step up to love yourself if a partner is not meeting your needs. You do not rely on anyone to meet your needs. Yet, you are also clear about not clinging on to someone who is not meeting your needs. 4. Secondly, when you learn your love languages, it is a helpful standard for your relationship. You might have some love languages you do not view as a priority due to trauma. Perhaps you do not believe words of affirmations, which can create problems in a relationship. Maybe you are averse to touch because you had some adverse experiences around physical contact. Perhaps codependency makes you want to do acts of service for others without accepting support. Perhaps you feel gifts are a form of purchasing love. Or you do not value quality time because you put more emphasis on the relief from sex. Or you believe a small amount of time with someone is effort due to how little attention you were given in your early years. Or you are constantly talking for affirmation, not allowing space. Or you are being high maintenance and wanting more financial investment from a partner. If you broke up or you are in an unhealthy relationship, it is helpful to explore and practice these love languages with yourself foremost. Then you may also hug children and friends. Gradually ease into the practice daily, with no pressure. Pay attention to emotions as you practice these love languages and put words to your emotions. Otherwise your relationships may struggle from lack of affection, attention, connection and engagement and support