Initiating healing while still making sense of loving too much.

When you love too much, you might be desperate and hungry for love, but familiar with rejection, yet never identifying it as such.

You might find yourself moving too fast in a relationship. Try too hard, force outcomes.

Proceed with glaring red flags. You might get married because you believe that will change the situation. You might be physically and verbally assaulted but feel shame to even admit it.

How do you start to heal ?

You understand what you are doing, why are doing it, and what you can do differently. You seek support and accountability.

1. You start with understanding your disease process.

2. Your addiction to doomed relationships and emotionally unavailable men is just like a drug addiction. It helps to understand that your addiction starts with the emotional highs in which you believe your needs will be met.

You then become dependent on a man and a relationship to feel good.

3. Just like any addiction with the need for your drug of choice, you are driven to pursue the relationship harder to try and get satisfaction and fulfillment from it.

4. You might pursue , request, demand or beg for more love, reassurance, and contact.

5. Understand that if your childhood experiences were painful, you will unconsciously try to recreate similar situations throughout your lives.

6. Identify that if your parents did not respond to you, you often become involved with a similar person, or a series of them, in adulthood in an attempt to “win” the old struggle to be loved.

The first step is therefore to identify your childhood home and the unmet needs you have. Start to meet those needs whether you are in a relationship or not.

It is advisable that when you start healing work, you identify your self-sabotage patterns and try to detach and focus inwards. Stop what you have been doing that is not doing, and try to follow guidance to love yourself and focus on yourself.

Do not fear losing this person, but be concerned about losing yourself.

Heal the inner child to connect with yourself toolkit is on Amazon. However, you need to learn grounding techniques before tackling inner child work to avoid re-traumatising yourself. Additionally, you need a support community AND if you can afford counselling or a therapist. NB..And means, the support community is pivotal for healing.