If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be a healthy partner

Remember you can get into healthy relationships. However, nobody taught us that relationships require skills. For this very reason, many of us struggle and end up feeling unhappy, settling or trying to fix.

A healthy relationship begins with you being a healthy partner first. You can only be a healthy partner of you have relationships skills. There is need for skills that are initiated and practiced by individuals, supported by a healthy immediate circle and extended to the greater public. These skills strengthen the self-relationship, which sets a standard for all other relationships..

Discipline is required to practice and become competent at these skills. Consistency is helpful for self-trust as you learn new ways of doing and being, in order to improve the emotional baseline

It takes a few months of consistent daily practice to familiarise yourself with basic grounding and self-care tools for a healthy emotional baseline. The tools are required for lifelong healing. These are the tools you can take into your relationships and any situation.

Even if already in a relationship, you are in a position to begin to pay more attention to the self than to a partner.

Do not settle because you are desperate to be with someone,

or because your friends are in a relationship, or perhaps because you believe you are getting older.

That rush and scarcity mentality will lead you to relationships where you might stay stuck, unhappy, and lonely while next to someone.

There is a way. It takes a few months to practice some tools you can take into your relationship. When you learn tools to manage yourself, you can easily work out what is best for you. You can also release what does not serve you.

Even if you are in a relationship, you can begin to pay more attention to yourself than to a partner. That does not mean ignore your partner. It means trusting and allowing your partner to be and do what is best for the relationship.

Emotional intelligence will help you to heal your inner child. It is also a tool that you require for the rest of your life, if you are to achieve peacefulness.

In this community, we encourage you to heal the inner child as an act of self-love.

Self-care is an important routine that can be incorporated in daily life to improve the emotional baseline. It does not matter whether or not you are in therapy. These tools are for life, and can be applied daily.

Through self-commitment and boundaries during daily practice, you can begin to feel safe and secure in you body. This strengthening of the self-relationship is mirrored in the relationships you gravitate towards.

You need to commit to yourself and to practice discipline. If you want commitment from a partner, give it to yourself first. Consistency in acting in your best interest leads to self-trust and a belief in yourself. This is also extended to others in a relationship.

Each day you wake up, do something for yourself, with yourself before doing anything with anyone else.

Gratitude

Meditation

Affirmations

Greet and hug your inner child.

Deep breathing

Catharsis

Set an intention

SIFTSEM

Mindfulness

Kindness.

Schedule Laughter three times a day

Monitor your thoughts.

Bedtime reflection

Acceptance and letting go is important to heal fear of abandonment.

Abundance mindset leads to trusting the process, which in turn facilitates trusting and allowing others to step into their roles. Abundance means, you so not attach to outcomes, or attach a person to your goals.

When you improve your emotional baseline, you learn to detach, take responsibility, and respond, rather than react. You then allow your emotions to guide you to make decisions in your best interest. You also allow others to do the same for themselves.

The SIFTSEM tool is available on Amazon.

It consists of the self-care routine, objective evaluation and emotional regulation toolkit which includes, trigger assessment, root cause analysis, reparenting and grounding techniques with five love languages and five senses, cognitive reappraisal, cathartic shake and solution focused rumination.

You are invited to live consciously in your relationships. Before you respond or act, access your emotions and let them guide you to change your life.

This train is moving forward and we are hoping you are going to change your relationship outcomes. To learn emotional self-relationship, and create a safe haven and a secure base for your inner child.