If you keep asking someone to love you right

Here is what is outside your control

Avoid asking someone to love you. They know what to do.

It is not possible to talk someone into feeling something. They need to come to that conclusion on their own.

Here is what is within your control

Take responsibility for your life, and consider why you are in this situation.

Consider inner child work or therapy. Deep in your childhood, there is someone who is exactly like this person. Reflect on the right fit theory.

We gravitate towards people who help us to fix something in our parents, in our childhood, if we are unhealed.

Consider the characteristics of the relationship and look back to your childhood home. There is a pattern you are trying to recreate and fix.

Who does this remind you of?

What feelings are you trying to recreate from childhood?

Maybe in our young years we had to beg to beg for love from our parents who were preoccupied or busy unaware.

We might therefore be trying ti recreate this feeling.

Invest in self-care and start to focus inwards.

For the relationship

Detach from the relationship. Stop trying to change anything or anyone except yourself.

Sometimes you might fear that you are running out of time, but the short term pain of working on yourself, while detached, beats the long term struggle you are in.

You can reset the relationship by giving yourself that love you require from your partner.

Love yourself with five love languages and five senses.

Healing emotions is helpful along the way.

Use the SIFTSEM toolkit, which now has a guided journal on Amazon. This can help you to start self-care to prioritise yourself , and heal emotions.

For your partner

Allow them to choose their actions. They are an adult. They do not need you to teach them how it is done.

When you take control of your life, you understand that someone is choosing and that is OK.

Love that is not given freely cannot be enjoyed freely. For you might have to beg again and again. Besides, there is likelihood of reactance from the other person as they hold on to their freedom of choice.