If it is forced it cannot be enjoyed

If you force it out of someone, you and they are not likely to enjoy it

To be with a certain type of partner or a man, you need to be the certain type of partner or woman who is the right fit for that partner.

Hard as it might be to hear, you get to keep a partner who is fit for purpose for where you are internally. If someone you meet is not a match for how you feel about yourself, they do not stay.

If you are someone who is healthy relating and self-loving, then you will obviously end up with a similar kind of man or partner.

If on the other hand, you settle, then you find someone to settle for also. You might give him the benefit of the doubt, yet you know that he is not stepping up. You might try to change him , but you know that does not work.

You become a victim, yet knowing all along, the relationship is not healthy, and that you are not right for each other.

You struggle to walk away, so you try to make someone stay. You attach your value to him staying after you have prompted him.

It might seem as if all that matters to you is to have him there in any format. Whether he is showing up for the relationship or not

Except, if he stays, he is not exactly choosing. He might stay out of duty.

He might stay out of obligation.

He might stay because you made him stay. And when he stays, not out of freewill or his own choosing, he might stay on his terms.

You might be parked, in his life yes, or partially, while he continues to unlove you.

While he continues to do what does not feel like love to you.

Not loyal, not invested.

Uncommitted, half present.

Sometimes not at all.

Present.

Your pain continues.

Your unhappiness does not stop.

You struggle.

You do not rest or feel content..

Your life feels like a battleground no doubt.

So, you got to ask yourself. Is it just a figure parked in the space you are striving for?

Or comfortable with?

Or is it love and attention, acceptance and commitment you require?

You got to ask yourself whether it is just his presence or being with someone present that matters?

Whether you want a name or a mutually loving partnership?

Whether you want to be seen with him, or to be seen?

Whether it is just knowing he is there, or to feel safe with him?

Try to think of what exactly you want.

How exactly you want to be loved.

Then perhaps think of how you love him and do so much for him.

If you can do so much for him and love him, there is also someone who can do it for you.

You can learn to get used to being in a loving place with loving people.

Start with loving yourself and believing you are worthy of respect and love.

Let go of the self-doubt.

The doubt that nobody else can love you.

The doubt that if you let him go, you cannot meet another.

Know your worth.

Heal before your next relationships or in your relationships.

To let go of the beliefs that are holding you hostage and stuck.

To understand and appreciate that you do not need to prove yourself, you need to heal first.

To heal your limitations.

To heal your existence.

To heal your lack of self-commitment.

To heal your inner child.

To start loving yourself.

To develop awareness.

To choose spaces that are healthy for you.

In all this,

To connect with yourself.