How do I train for romance outside romantic relationships you ask.

Training for relationships

You had enough experience over the years with whoever you were with at any given time. Any relationship encounters we have with others in life, are really a training ground for relationships.

Whatever place you are at right now is the right place for you. You got there through your dominant thoughts in the past or recently.

It is important to recognise that you are not going to be better at relationship with a right person. You need to be the right person for you and for the relationship you seek. Then others will cross your path, who are a match to how you feel about yourself.

Whether you live with family, with friends, romantic partner, with children or strangers, recognise that you are in the right place for your training. As much as you might not like where you are, it goes without saying, your life is lived now. It is not not going to be tomorrow when things get better, or when you have more money, you are in a relationship, a better relationship, or when your children go to university.

What you need are skills which give you tools to achieve a state of peacefulness in the present moment. Tools to manage yourself where you are and appreciate what is working and create solutions for what is not working. You require love on three levels.

Learn to take responsibility for your present situation. Deliberately focus your thoughts to gratitude and appreciation for your life, what you have, and for the people around you.

Be appreciative when things are going well. See what others are good at, are trying to do for you or in general.

Focus on your own joy through your interests. Let others off the hook and make your own peacefulness a priority.

Make an effort to be respectful, to be kind, to be less judgemental, to be friendly, to be honest and to let go. Initially, people might be suspicious of your changed behaviour.

However, as you keep practising self-care, emotional regulation and choosing your thoughts, they will begin to relate to the new you. Be a better partner, mother, child, parent, friend, or neighbour, relative, citizen, before you ask this of others.

As you create a better future for yourself through your daily actions, you shift internally. As you shift internally, your external environment gradually begins to match how you feel about yourself.

The more grounded, centred and calm you are , the more calm your external environment gradually becomes.

Do not feel that your inner peace comes from living in certain places or being with certain people. Your inner peace begins with a decision to be happy and grateful where you are. Yes, it is ok not to want to be in some places. However, while you are there, it is helpful to make the most of your life since it has no pause button. Besides, sometimes, you do not know how long you might need to be in that place. So, be content now.

Additionally, you might not live beyond this moment. The future is not guaranteed.

Applying tools for peacefulness will help you to improve your self-relationship, and inter-relationship skills. In your immediate circle you will learn conflict resolution, team work, collaboration, change management, influencing and inspiring , giving and receiving love with five love languages and five senses, as well as leading.

In the greater good , you learn to give without expectation. Today is your training ground. Where you are is your training ground Who you are with is your training ground.

Arm yourself with the following tools.

Regulate yourself. Practice compassion Self-respect Boundaries Kindness Help others. Invest in yourself. Play Laugh Self-care