Healing for relationships

When you recognise that your relationships are not promoting wellbeing , it is helpful to explore healing work. Know yourself. In order to develop or grow healthy relationship, you need to have an idea of who you are on a deeper level. Who you are goes beyond your daily job, your achievements, having children, a partner or how you look. If all these were key factors in relationships, all people who have these qualities or characteristics would be happily settled with their sweetheart. If you want to create healthy relationships, understand your patterns and the drivers of your behaviour. For many, reading books has become a key factor in this growth revolution. Books and other resources can help you to recognise your patterns. Explore your beliefs about relationships in general. Your thoughts that you keep thinking concerning relationships and while in relationships. Your attitudes in relationships and towards relationship partners and people in general. Recognise that you are getting into a relationship with a person. Therefore, your attitude towards any human being can be directed towards anybody, including your partner. Your decisions in relationships, that influence your behaviours are important to recognise. This awareness helps you to avoid surprises when your partner's, or suitors behave in similar ways. Or you get similar unexpected outcomes in your romantic life. Key pointers to help you understand yourself in relationships include ; 1. How you deal with people who do not agree with you. If you are reactive, confrontational, and demanding, it is helpful to SIFTSEM, recognise your pre-triggers around the cognitive distortions of black and white thinking, and fallacy of change. Next, create a plan of action to learn the dichotomy of control and consider that there is more than one perspective out there. Do not take everything personally. 2. Explore how you resolve conflict. Where there are two people there is likely to be some form of conflict. Conflict is important for us to share what we want and what we do not prefer. In healthy relationships, conflict is functional. Do not expect to meet someone you agree with or who agrees with you about everything. The idea is to learn to appreciate your differences and manage them in a functional way. Dysfunctional conflict on the other hand, will ruin your relationships 3. What do you do when something you did not expect happens? How you manage the expected determines how you might handle challenges in relationships. 4. What makes your heart sing? It is helpful to recognise your purpose and your interests, and what makes you feel content or joyous. This is where you spend your time away from your relationship, to reboot and tend to your inner child. This is key for a healthy relationship. 5. How do you take your feedback? If you cannot step back to receive feedback, or your personalise everything, you are likely to struggle in relationships. 6. How do you express your needs? If you demand, challenge, control or force, it is going to be a challenge to feel heard, or for someone to hear you. 7. What is your attitude of gratitude? People who are not appreciative can struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Nothing ever goes right for them. To be expanded on daily