Getting ahead of the triggers

None of us is perfect. People who have taken care of their inner stuff are exposed to triggers like everyone else. We are all exposed to contrasting experiences. We are all at times thinking negative thoughts. We all make mistakes and all of us can have reactive moments. The idea is to constantly find the path of least resistance in those moments. It is possible to choose the path of least resistance when you become aware of your patterns and responses. The energy coursing through you is greater than anything that you encounter.

The path of least resistance is about choosing an action that has ease and that is in your best interest, in those moments when you encounter the unwanted, or triggers.

It becomes easy to choose the path of least resistance when you recognise that you have betrayed yourself, but you do not beat up on yourself. Instead, you learn from the experience and move on.

Getting ahead of contrast or triggers and life challenges requires a daily routine, practiced and implemented to identify your responses to triggers.

If you start in the morning, you prepare your day and minimise being triggered or the impact of the triggers or the unwanted. By taking time to meditate, feel and say gratitude, speak to your inner child, hug and soothe , use words of affirmations, laugh, practice deep breathing, cathartic shake and set an intention, you are providing a safe home for yourself to go back to when life is challenging. You feel seen, heard, given attention and acknowledged by you.

When you practice self-care daily, regulate emotions and reflect on your day, this can get you to a space of detachment and focusing inwards. The more reflective you are, the less reactive you become.

Do not wait to turn the tide when you are triggered. Live in constant appreciation. Live with gratitude, love and joy. Practice being a joyful person, so that when things go wrong, you create solutions, and go back home to joy.

When you have tools to manage yourself, some situations will no longer trigger you. You learn to own your experience and to understand what is your battle and what is not.

Additionally, if you are struggling with an experience or recurrent pattern, you benefit from creating weekly goals to manage the pattern.

Honouring yourself through self-commitment

In order to change habits in your relationship or life it can help to set weekly goals.

If you are struggling with an experience or recurrent pattern, you benefit from SIFTSEM, create week (intermediate) goals to manage the pattern. Long term will look like reviewing those goals continuing.

1. If you are struggling to maintain a self-care routine, set a target of one week first. Set an alarm every morning. Get accountability.

2. If you are in a relationship with daily or frequent conflict, set a weekly goal where you work on, not starting fights or not responding to fights if your partner starts them. Detach and walk away. This helps you to reset the dynamic.

3. If you are a dysregulated paren7t who is angry and constantly shouting at children, set a goal to avoid shouting. This means while you might be angry, you can parent yourself instead.

4. If you are struggling to maintain "no contact" following a break-up, aim to keep your promise to yourself for a week. Delete contact details and seek accountability.

5. If you are struggling to start exercising, set a goal to exercise 3 times for one week.

6. Look into interventions that can help you track your discipline.

Start small also.

Maybe one goal a week initially.

When you get into committing to yourself, you cannot bear to let yourself down.

7. Identify weaknesses that can lead to self-betrayal.

9. Do not try to be perfect. Do your best and try to be consistent.

8. Seek accountability and report back daily.

10. Avoid entitlement. Many people who struggle to get over a habit act entitled.

They have a "my way or no way attitude."

10. Be humble. Humility will get you far. Ask questions instead of complaining.

11. Do not take anything and everything personally. Sift through feedback and recognise what is helpful and what is not for you.

12. Understanding that you attract what you are. Work on being the person you want to see in others each week.

13. Appreciate the workings of the universe. Not every circle is your circle. Not every relationship is "the relationship."

When you commit to your goals, you minimise self-betrayal. When you are consistent with self-care and self-love, you start to own your experience. You do not gaslight or blame people because you are struggling to honour yourself. You respect the energy coursing through your veins that helps you to overcome.

When we are struggling to commit to ourselves, we are quick to identify a culprit to make ourselves look like "good people!"

Review your goals weekly.

Above all seek accountability and report back daily.

When you commit to your goals and self-care, you prevent, minimise impact and occurence of, and also manage triggers.

Even when you react, you can still parent yourself, easily identify lessons and learn from them. Take charge of your life.