Ex double dealing with you
- Memory
- Feb 18, 2022
- 2 min read
If your ex wants you but cannot let go of their new partner.
When you are still into your ex, you might fall into a trap of a three way relationship. What is important here is to explore your boundaries. It does not matter much what your ex is saying or doing. Quality life is dependent on having an awareness of what you want and not settling because you received an offer from someone you might have put on a pedestal. This person who you broke up with before, might not be the best candidate for relationship right now. Think about what you want and what that looks like. If your ex is asking for a reconnection, then recognise that what you want matters. Your ex does not come back on their terms. Besides, if you broke up because there were problems, this is an additional problem amongst the unresolved. However, if you are the one asking for a reconnection, and you keep trying to convince your ex to do or change something, your ex is going to think you cannot live without them. So they will try to push their agenda. It would be beneficial not to even entertain someone in another relationship, ex or no5. Just becaure you have been together, it does not mean you are good for each other. However, if you feel that you want to try to reconnect, it is important to ensure that you uphold your standards. Cut contact and allow your ex time to reflect on what or who they want. Inform them that unless there is a change in their relationship status, your ex needs to can stay where they are. No ultimatums, just you respecting yourself and the person they are dating. You would want the same. It might be difficult, but you will move on. Explore healing with a therapist, in counselling or start self-parenting and CODA communities. If you go back without a change, you will be going on a rollercoaster . If you keep trying to have him your ex change, you are not going to help the reconnection. Let go and heal. Do not choose someone who is not choosing you. Do not attach your worthiness to anyone. There are other people out there waiting to meet you and prioritise you in relationships. You only need to develop an abundance mindset and not attach anyone to your goals. SIFTSEM on Amazon with its journal can help you to manage your life and emotions and act in your best interest. SIFTSEM TOOL- Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.: A solution focused emotional-regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for triggers. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TQCYC7G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_8RXXNEXHNCTF8G0K4856




Comments