Dichotomy of control in relationships

Let go look control in relationships If you are trying to make someone change, it might simply be because your anxiety is creating a sense of urgency. Urgency comes from a a need to soothe yourself and feel better about a situation. Through no fault of yours, your need to make someone see things differently can be viewed as control if you have tried and they are choosing not to listen. Recognise that you are in a relationship with an adult. People are free to choose, even if they choose to self-destruct. Or not to take your recommendations. Accept that it might simply be for the reason that you are not the person who will inspire the change, that they are resistant. Besides, focus on making changes within your control. Marcus Aurelius said, "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” Let go! And focus on changing your perspective about your partner's need to change instead. Unhealed, we can try anything to be seen, heard acknowledged. Yet,the best way to approach such a situation is to trust and allow that each person knows what is best for them. You can love on three levels. Start with you. Take control of your life and see , hear and acknowledge yourself. Love yourself with the five love languages and five senses. Tune in to your emotions and parent your inner child. Recognise what you need from others as you parent yourself. Give and receive love in a circle where you are seen and acknowledged. Also, look put for others in the greater good. If you trust and allow a partner to choose, they are likely to do well in relationship with you or others. The very act of trusting them puts them in a position to want to prove themselves, which means they might meet the relationship needs.