Deciding what to do in each moment is self-care.

When you feel hungry, you eat. When you feel tired, you rest. When there are physical threats, you run! When you feel cold, you cover up or heat up! When you encounter a challenge at work, you explore resolution, or ask for help from someone whose paycheck matches the problem. Or if you are the boss, you evaluate the situation, considering the bigger picture. Self-parenting is; 1. Learning to decide what is best in each moment. Discern and choose your battles. The right uniform for the girl guides or boy scouts. 2. Understanding that behaviour or action or lack therefore, is choice and has consequences. That if you want someone to stay around you, a worker, a partner of a friend, how you behave inspires them or does not. 3. Recognise that others have their choices. And are entitled to choose what is best for them. Even if it is not you. 4. Writing the correct address on the envelope before you post the letter. Or the message does not get to the right recipients. Is this information you are struggling with, for you, or for others? Is it you or others who need to take action? 5. Understanding that when a shop is closed, you will have to wait till tomorrow. To respect boundaries. Yours and those of others. To combat entitlement. To prevent self destruction. 6. Recognising that nobody is perfect, and you are a work in progress, constantly expanding and evolving. Yet, learning from your daily experiences. Not enabling yourself during acts of self-sabotage. Parenting also reminds you to learn to recognise psychological danger. Observing emotions, attending to them with compassion, and making appropriate decisions.

Not eating because you are stressed or tired.

Not looking for people for fear of loneliness, but because you have quality moments together.

Not getting into a relationship because your friends are in a relationship and you feel left behind.

Not reacting because your partner did something you do not agree with. But detaching and reflecting on your response and action because you are in charge of life.

Not just saying something, anything, even nasty, because it is expected, or to go with the crowd. But speaking when you have given thought to whether the discussion allows growth.

Self-parenting involves assigning the externals to the universe, because they are above your paycheck.

Others can share with the universe. Simply trust and allow.

Do not push against anyone or anything. Self-parenting is learning to recognise those things that need to be worked on, such as rage, shame, guilt, when they become a way of life To also, regain the trust lost during conditioning. Lost in moments where you felt betrayed, by having to supress how you felt, by having to pretend you had no feelings, by having to dismiss your guidance system, to avoid punishment, to avoid being deemed too much! In order to fit in.

Effective healing requires that through a commitment to making decisions that benefit you, you learn to appreciate and trust your judgements, and therefore believe in yourself. To develop confidence in the self. In your unconditional worthiness. In that you are enough. And so, you learn to respect and value yourself, You develop character and act with dignity. Taking responsibility and not attaching your worthiness to anyone. Understanding that you have the freedom to choose, what is best for you and let go of what does not benefit you.