Dating fresh out of a divorce.

Ideally, following a divorce it is best to explore healing work. This helps you to address patterns and behaviours that might not be helpful in a relationship. However, if you have already started "dating someone" it us helpful to slow things doen. Unless you have done some work on yourself, it is essential to take things really slow to observe how you are both showing up. This minimises repeating patterns. It is possible to enjoy each other's company, get to know each other and stay out of bedrooms or homes in the initial stages of dating. When you are still fresh out of a divorce, you might have a strong desire to be with someone. It helps to explore why you want a relationship?Do not be too desperate to be in a relationship. Sometimes, post break up, anyone coming our way can feel like a breath of fresh air. Remember, predators know who is without protection. Some people also recognise who is vulnerable and might know what to offer you, until you want more. Then they shift goal posts and trouble starts. Sometimes, you might have a subconscious desire to prove yourself to many people, including your ex. Find out what are you both looking for and whether you are on the same page. Reflect on what you want in a relationship. Not from the person you meet, but in general. Consider what might be drawing you to a particular person. Is it growth or pain? If you do not know what you want, do not go along with what someone you like wants. It is easy to be pulled into someone else's agenda just because you like them. However, that is an act of self-betrayal which might lead to resentment later on. If you notice red flags, act on them. Do not overlook red flags because you do not want to be alone. Ignoring red flags translate into hoping someone will change something for you. Also consider whether you are over your ex. If you are attached to an ex, it is worth exploring healing for a while. It can be a challenge to create a healthy relationship with someone while still attached to another. It can also be a challenge to create a new relationship if you have issues with your ex. This might be a situation that requires a therapist, not a relationship.