Creating vocabulary for your relationship

Relationship rituals

When you approach relationships from a growth perspective, it is helpful to create routines and rituals to adhere to. This prevents a situation where one or both might regret later that they did not know what to do. 1.Schedule feedback sessions. Once a week conflict resolution hour. If you want your relationship to work, it is important to be curious and to seek, accept and receive feedback and learn from it. Maybe when we hear our partner out and pay attention to what they are saying , we can then schedule weekly feedback exchange time, about how we each feel and what we each need to change in the dynamic. Our fights or arguments reveal to us some hidden challenges that we need to confront and resolve. Yet a lot of times we become defensive and push back against what our partner is saying. We take it personally and feel blamed or accused. 2. Listen to understand and acknowledge, and you get the same from a partner. We can only grow through these negative comments if we pay attention to the comments first, before focusing on how they are delivered. We can then communicate a boundary around how we like to be communicated with, with respect. This is something we can easily request only if we are also able to communicate with them the same way as an example. 2. Date night is important to keep ourselves interested in each other and to create a commitment that we adhere to. It is important to set a day weekly for this. 3. Sit down together as a family at least once a day or 3 to 4 days a week if children are involved. This helps instil certain values and to maintain connectedness in the family. 4. Assess and exchange love languages. Recognise and understand your partner’s love language. Do something for them daily if you live together to show that you understand how they like to be loved. If it is quality time, sit with them even for 10 minute, if time is limited and do something together. Unawareness of love languages is the reason some relationships fail. If their love language is words of affirmations, say something meaningful to them once a day. If their love language is acts of service make them a favourite brew, do a small task for them, or ask what they would love you to do for them. If gifts is their love language, get them something that has meaning behind it but not necessarily bought or expensive weekly or fortnightly. A nice flower from the field, an unusual stone picked up with love. 5. Hold hands, touch and look into each other’s eyes and exchange meaningful words for 3 minutes to strengthen your bond. 6. Morning and night time ritual of gratitude and even morning meditation for 5 minutes before you get out of bed. At night you can express gratitude for each other and specify what you are grateful for that your partner has done or is doing. 7. Celebrate special occasions together. 8. Create weekend rituals. Create space, where you have plans to do stuff together and also create space for time apart. It is crucial to get away from each other one weekend in 6 maybe, if you live together. Spend a day or time away from each other part of the weekend or the week. 8. It strengthens your connection if you greet each other with a hug or kiss after time apart and before leaving each other. You can add more to personalise your relationship. 9. When you are apart stop bombarding each other with texts and calls. You just spent the night together, give each other space and trust one another. Occasionally or weekly send a flirty or dirty text about last night. 10. Create your relationship journal and communication book, but do not use it to bash each other or address problems. Use it to grow. 11.Respect each other, you are adults. You are also strangers who owe each other nothing. Speak to each other like adults and do not demand, control or act entitled because you are both free to choose again. Avoid the need to be right, but maintain your loving boundaries. There is a difference. Respect your differences, and come together to do relationship. https://m.facebook.com/groups/1183407671999701/permalink/1410575665949566/