Checklist for someone who loves too much

Loving too much does not happen accidentally. Society and dysfunctional families are the root of this phenomenon.

Checklist for people who love too much.

Your emotional needs were not met in your childhood home.

You could not change your parents so that they became loving. You now gravitate deeply towards unavailable needy men who are like your parents. You care for such men and try to change them. You lack integrity and therefore make an effort to give him unsolicited advice, manipulate by doing things you will resent him for.

Rather than focus on how the relationship is going, you are attached to outcomes. You want your dream relationship, without acknowledging the red flags. You might ask a man to tell you that he loves you, to extract actions that are indicative of love and affection. It is such a basic thing to do, but they are actions a lover volunteer from how they feel. This is not something you tell or ask someone to do.

To avoid abandonment, you will do anything to keep the man from leaving. You will over-function and get into the space to make something happen. You do so much for this man to help him. You might buy him gifts, travel to him, and make life easy for him so that he can easily love you.

You might believe that you were a great partner when relationship ends. You take responsibility and sometimes blame yourself more than you need to. You lack insight into the deterioration of a dynamic. You therefore cannot make decisions in your best interest, to pull out of toxic situations.

Since you are used to having little love in your life, you will give your partner many chances. You may make excuses for them and wait for them to change. While trying your best to please.

Due to your conditioning, you have low self-worth and do not feel deserving of happiness. You effort to enjoy life. If a man or lover is not stepping up, that will be a blow to your self-esteem. So you step into their role to ensure that you feel a sense of accomplishment when they respond.

You desperately control men due to lack of security in childhood. You claim that you are being helpful instead of controlling. Your behaviour is an act of controlling outcomes.

You are likely to suffer addiction to drugs, alcohol, and/or certain foods, particularly sugary ones.

You might also suffer from depression, which you might mask by the relationship highs.

You might view secure attached and stable and reliable men boring due to addiction to chaos.

You do not focus on yourself where your focus needs to be due to your focus on your partner's problems, chaos and uncertain situations.

People like you are consistently emotionally unavailable partners. As Robin Norwood said, "being addicted is a primary way of being emotionally unavailable! "