Break up. Bringing the focus back to you!

To all of you who are grieving the loss of a relationship, I am sorry to hear about your situation. This is not a comfortable place to be. Sometimes the curiosity to find out what they are doing overwhelms. Yet, it is worth exploring that thought that keeps you focusing on the ex. While it is human nature to be curious, it is also human nature to gravitate towards anything of benefit. Consider what you are likely to get that is beneficial, from paying attention to what your ex is doing. This is especially when you are going out of your way to probe their daily life. As suggested, there is so much of you to focus on. So much of you to discover, and so much of you still to meet. Rather than investigating your ex's activities, notice that you might investigate your childhood, your upbringing, the type of parents who raised you. Why am I doing what I am doing? You might also find benefit in investigating your feelings, thoughts and your attitudes and behaviours. What can I do differently? Investigate how you can invest in yourself, how you can parent yourself. How can I move on from these emotions? Investigate ways you can release emotions and journal. Allocate your ex thinking time. Just like a dose of medication, recognise that there are toxic doses when we focus on a situation. Invest in how you can let go. Practice role reversal. Your ex chose. So, trust and allow them to do what is best for them. Just as you need to trust and allow yourself to do what is best for you. Solutions in the short term Self-parenting is not a one off feat Investigate how you can continue to grieve your loss daily. Practice self-care, now more than ever. No contact, or parental contact only for now. Friendship can wait. Wake up to yourself and create a safe environment for your inner child. When you are in the break up space, you are pretriggered. In addition to your unhealed traumas , your emotional baseline is off, and anything else you encounter in the world is likely to look worse than it is. So, prepare in the morning, Gratitude, meditation, deep breathing, Carthartic shake, affirmations, self-hugs, tapping, set an intention. Have tools on the ready throughout the day. Segment intending. Mindful boundaries. Mindfulness in speech, and action. Detach and learn to parent yourself. Kindness and appreciation. Find inspiration in the people you meet. Notice kindness. SIFTSEM and journal. Love yourself with love languages. Do acts of service to feel seen. Exercise, cook yourself a healthy meal. Hugs and massages for touch. Get yourself gifts from nature and sometimes from shops. Write yourself little love notes. Repeat words of affirmations. Spend quality time in meditation, in nature walks, creating and journaling emotions amd reframes. At the end of the day, reflect once again and learn from what you have done, said or heard. Set an intention to change something tomorrow. Learn deep breathing and self-hugs Hug yourself. Count backwards from 100-0 Intentionally commit to yourself.

Work on self-worth and learn to respect, trust and believe in yourself through acts of self-compassion. Also, invest in a healthy tribe on the second level. Do not confine love to romance. There are people our there who love and care for you. People who wish to spend some time with you. Additionally, find your purpose or invest in your purpose and new purposes. Help others. This can take your focus away from your situation sometimes. However, when you invest in others, start with parenting yourself. Long term, continue self-care. Wishing you, Courage to accept what is. Moderation to look into different perspective. Wisdom to be indifferent to what makes no difference. Justice to practice compassion to yourself and therefore to others.