Being a childhood caregiver has a bearing on how you love too much.

Whether your parents were physically ill, or you had to take care of them because they had addictions or you became enmeshed with a parent, this has an adverse effect on how you love.

Perhaps you had a caregiver who drunk a lot and did not notice you. You might have thought your parents were perfect because you needed them to be , until you realised they were not the parents you wanted.

Perhaps the parents fought and you ended up taking care of the victim parent. You might have tried to protect that parent, cheer them up and please them.

This role of looking after an adult takes its toll on a child. A child needs to be a child. You might then have developed depression in your teenage years.

In adulthood you might have jumped at any opportunity to escape your home and therefore end up in relationships with unavailable people.

If someone said or even now says they love you, it might feel like being offered a lot. This is because you feel empty inside due to how much you have been giving without getting anything back as a young child.

It might feel like an honour having someone who wants you.

When problems start in your relationships, because you already know how to suffer, you might put up with them.

You might believe suffering is the price you pay for love.

You might also turn wild if single, even though you might remain compassionate from your life experiences. Yet your compassion will land you in trouble when you can take men or lovers home because you pity them.

You want men or partners who need you.

What you need to do...

Stop dating and start healing work.

For a time, it is OK to stop trying to help anyone to learn to care of yourself foremost.

If you are an adult child of an addicted parent, join Al-Anon.

Sacrificing your own childhood needs and wants, because of your attachment with your victim parent prepared you for later love relationships involving suffering without personal fulfillment.

It is time for you to recognise your worth and that you do not need to suffer for love.

Learn self-love.

Start self-care

Prioritise yourself.

You do not need to rescue or pity lovers or partners. They need to take care of themselves.