Bedtime reflection

Before going to bed tonight, invite your observer to reflect on how many times you might have jumped to conclusions today.

How many times you might have justified your anger because "they made you feel angry?"

How many times you might have sworn at other drivers on the road, when nobody was even close to colliding with you?

Consider how many times you might have been annoyed with someone, when , perhaps you did not understand where they were coming from?

How many times you might have seen something unwanted, and blamed the people responsible, without understanding context and also, when it was not directed at you?

Explore where you might have assumed someone is ignoring you when, perhaps you do not know whether they are busy, ill, depressed, suffering a loss, not ready, or not up to the task.

Or you are angry because someone is not showing up for you, when they have too much on their plate.

Perhaps you decided someone is unkind without asking, " Is there anything I need to know?"

Or you decided to take some wounded action instead of asking them, " I thought I would reach out and check in!"

Sometimes we lash out automatically, with inadequate data, instead of requesting, " Please may you help me!"

Other times we go on a blame rampage instead of asking, " I feel a certain way about this. When you have time, I would like to brainstorm with you!"

In some situations, rather than conclude that our needs are not being met because someone does not want to meet them, we could be curious and ask, " What can I do for you?"

Maybe they too need help with something. Life is give and take.

In some cases the situation can be resolved by, "I am struggling with this.How best do you think I need to approach it?"

Consider how many times you might have argued with someone instead of asking a simple question such as, " What do you mean?"

Consider how you might have sat with your tribe and decided that someone is worth persecuting, when maybe that person is going through a hard time.

Consider how many times you might have thought that you are going to take revenge on someone, who does not even know what happened to you.

Perhaps you are giving someone a hard time instead of being curious.

Or you are giving yourself a hard time about someone who has not thought about you in months, having concluded they will come back to love you!

You might have made up your mind that someone did something bad from rumours, without sitting on a high mountain to look at your perspective, against many others out there.

Maybe someone did something or did not do something that you expected, and you feel that might be intentional.

Consider that you might be trying to one up someone who probably does not even notice your existence.

Or you might have decided that you do not like something someone said where a question would have helped?

You could even have shouted at the children for not doing what you asked, instead of asking them why they did not do what you asked.

Before bed tonight, employ your observer. Your observer can help you to see other perspectives, so that you do not bleed everywhere and call it self-care and boundaries.

There is a lot we do not understand about people.

There is even more we do not know about what they are doing or not doing.

Thinking or not thinking.

So maybe in those situations detach, consider other perspective, and also how you might feel in their shoes.

There is also a lot we do not understand about ourselves.

In these moments of reflection, the observer can lead us to understand our dark side..

Let us start with our individual selves.

What can you learn from today, and do differently tomorrow?