Be the parent you need

In this community, we have a simple tool to address your existence. This tool is for you to tune into your emotions and use them to create solutions. There is nobody who has answers to your life more than you do. Your emotions are connected to your guidance system. Rather than try to distract from your emotions when you are triggered by a partner, children or colleagues, tune into your bodily sensations for 30 minutes a day and parent the triggered child in you. The short of SIFTSEM is that you need to take a step back and observe what is happening in your body to avoid abandoning the child in you who feels unsafe during triggering moments. Feel your feelings, ask yourself you are feeling this way, identify the unmet needs and let the parent in you take charge. 1. Score yourself again from 0 calm to 10 very distressed. 2. Deep breathing slowly x 15 times 3. What has happened to make me feel sad, angry, upset, anxious? 4. What else was happening before that? Or any unresolved issues from the past that keep coming up. Perhaps I did not sleep well last night. I have other issues ongoing. I have a history with this person. 5. What do I feel in my body - In the actual body, such as palpitations, chest pain, sweaty palms, pain in the head, trembling etc 6. Are there images coming up as I feel this? 6. What do I feel ? Anxious, angry, guilty, excited, resentful, etc 7. What am I thinking? Why are they doing this? They should not say this! I cannot do this! That is wrong! I am not good enough. I am being attacked. 8. Root cause ? Why do I feel or think this way? 9. Soothe Continue deep breathing. Hug and soothe with kind words like a baby. Rock yourself. Shake it off with a carthartic shake or body shake.Use soothing oils such as lavender. 10. What other thoughts can you think of right now to replace yours? What would you say to you in you were in the other person's shoes? Or from a loving person's perspective. 11. What plans can you make to manage similar feelings or triggers. 1. Self-care 2. Specific solutions. What can you do about a situation like this to prevent, manage or eliminate it in future? 12. Shake it off again. 13. Get into the moment with 54321, the vuu, or counting backwards or meditation. 14. Score yourself again from 0 calm to 10 very distressed. Journal and apply your solutions. SIFTSEM TOOL- Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.: A solution focused emotional-regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for triggers. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TQCYC7G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_BBSCFTWSJKXSWMEJ1404