Attached to someone who is not into you

If you can see that they are not trying , they are letting you down or loving them is hurting you, then it is an indication that their priority is elsewhere or you are not a match. The idea is to explore root cause in childhood. There is abandonment trauma which you might keep trying to recreate by seeking out emotionally unavailable people. Learn the dichotomy of control. You might struggle to let go of things that are not fit for purpose, because you do not lean into your emotions. When you do not lean into your emotions, you end up denying how you feel and therefore, unable to act in your best interest. That is something you can do , because it is within your control. By avoiding emotions, you are not likely to use them to create solutions. This denial of emotions leads to acting out from a subconscious level. Unconscious decisions are rarely in your best interest. What you need to do is to learn or practice sitting with your emotions and parenting yourself. Otherwise you are likely to repeat unhealthy patterns and keep colliding with unhealthy matches and blaming them and calling the outcomes fate or being unlucky. While you keep going back to this person who is not into you, also explore emotional healing Heal, step by step, one trigger at a time.. SIFTSEM each trigger, recognising root cause and parenting with soothing. As you parent each trigger, you feel the discomfort of where you are and promise your inner child that yoy will look out for her. With each promise you make to your inner child , you are close to discernment and self-compassion. Create solutions, to avoid contact and delete details if necessary, in a new relationship. In an old relationship, solutions include detachment and self-love. Create a timeline to revisit your goals if nothing changes. Let go of what is outside your control.You have so much of your life to focus on. Take responsibility for what is happening in your life.

Do not put pressure on them, or on yourself. The dichotomy of control We are all free to choose what we do with our thoughts, our opinions, to choose people we accept in our circle and our behaviour. Everyone has the same freedom. If a person you want, does not want you back, then that person is choosing. That is a right, a privilege we all have. Problems start when you want someone who is not wanting you to want you as much as you want them. What that says to this person is that they do not know what they want, and you know what is best for them. Imagine being in this person's shoes and how this would feel. Being invalidated for not wanting what you do not want. If we must have a happy life, a quality well-lived life, then we need to acknowledge that others need to be free to choose. That it is ok for them to leave relationships with us if they choose without feeling like criminals or parents to us. Only then can we start respecting one another and creating healthy relationships. The exciting bit about this theory is that when people are left to choose, they are happy to stay. This is because they are under no pressure to stay. They want to stay because you are likely to be happy in yourself and live in the moment without entitlement and control. Always choose you, live your life and let go if they do not want to stay. Do not take it personally that they do not want to stay. We do not owe each other in life and relationships. Just like we go to the supermarket and choose what we prefer, we also choose each other in relationships. Practice love on three levels. Invest in people who care about you. There are plenty. Rather than focusing on someone who is not interested. They are choosing. Respect their choice. You go to the shop and choose what foods you want to eat. That applies to relationship. People need to pick and choose who they feel is good for them. You cannot force feed them your love. That is not love. That is control. Someone out there is waiting to love you right. The SIFTSEM Journal: The self-healer`s diary to develop emotional awareness and self-management in 90 days. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_AFAFQ54THN9QPF3QKEMZ The SIFTSEM Journal: The self-healer`s diary to develop emotional awareness and self-management in 90 days. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_AFAFQ54THN9QPF3QKEMZ