Adverse childhood experiences

Adverse childhood experiences Understanding how children feel about how we love, discipline and interact with them.

Perhaps we have recognized how stressed we feel as adults when we have a boss or colleague who is constantly demanding perfection or things to be done a certain way.

We might start a course we constantly and have to get feedback. We might even struggle and maybe decide to give up because we had enough of that facilitator.

We might have a partner who is demanding of specifics and we feel really stressed from trying to prove ourselves.

We might be ignored or not given attention by someone we are in a relationship with and feel rejected and abandoned.

Perhaps we end up having to over-extend ourselves and feel stressed.

This is how children feel if they are constantly shouted at, spanked, ignored, parenticised by parents with addictions or illness, criticised or punished. They might not pay bills, but they feel and sense just like us.

The lack of happiness is a source of worry for them. They feel stressed. Chronic stress can lead them to being reactive. To withdrawal. To looking for coping strategies. To feeling they are not good enough. To look for soothing and guidance from peers or unhealthy spaces. To eating disorders, behavioural issues, and self-harm.

These children end up finding it hard to come back home. They would rather stay out. They would rather run away. Others stay out of fear or believing they have nowhere to go. They do not trust the people who are supposed to protect them. They stop trusting anyone.

Remember, the predator knows who is without protection. When folks from unhealthy circles get the idea that a child is not happy at home, they step in. They use some form of incentive to lure this vulnerable child. Thus an addict is born, a sex worker is born, a gang member is born or a criminal is born.

This is why we are encouraging each other to heal. So that we can learn to cope with the curious chain of questions from children. To cope with their demands. To be compassionate to ourselves and them. To manage and regulate ourselves so that we can in turn, teach and demonstrate to them how to manage and regulate themselves.

Heal for your children. SIFTSEM is available on Amazon The SIFTSEM Journal: The self-healer`s diary to develop emotional awareness and self-management in 90 days. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_7QF7Q2HM013WY25VE7K7