Addiction to unhealthy relationships as a disease

Addiction to unhealthy relationships

People who move from relationship to relationship might have a history of or undiagnosed depression. They might come from abusive relationships of either a parent or also themselves.

They are drawn to impossible partners who are abusive, unpredictable, irresponsible or unresponsive. Their relationships are riddled with fights, arguments, break ups and reconnections.

Long term the relationships are like stimulants, addictive. In the short term, the relationships mask depression, and provide an escape.

Due to living with stress of childhood trauma and passed on depression, they are likely depressed before they get into a relationship. A drama filled relationship therefore stimulates adrenaline.

If their partner starts to address his or her problems, these people will start to yearn for someone exciting and stimulating, to avoid their own feelings and problems.

They are in denial ,like any addict.They are resistant to change and to let go of obsessive thoughts. They communicate with partners in an emotionally charged way. They have addiction to pain and unrewarding relationships.

Like any other disease, unhealthy relationships can cut short people's lives. It is difficult for such people to diagnose themselves of their disease or recover alone.

If this relationship ends, these people are likely to sink further into their depression. They fix their problems with another relationship.

To heal, they need to recognise they are suffering from a disease that is progressive without treatment, but can also respond to treatment.

Therapy alone is not enough to heal relationship addiction or substance or food addiction. If they stop, a vacuum will be created and an hour of therapy once a week, cannot fill that vacuum.

They need access to support , understanding and reassurance constantly. Peer support in healing communities is required. Therapy treats the relationship addiction as a symptom, when it needs to be viewed as a disease process.

It is important to deal head on with the problem while also digging the root cause.

Addiction to relationships is about addiction to pain and an unhealthy relationship, with roots in childhood.

What can help

These people need to stop relationships if they are not in one.

To recognise that suffering is not a sign of love, and choosing not to suffer is not selfish.

That women do not need to change men. Or nobody needs to change anybody in a relationship.

To stop what seems to give then relief.

Deal with behaviour patterns in the present.

Stop trying to fix,control, blame, help, and change a partner.

To focus on the self.

To be still and feel their feelings.

To heal the inner child.

Identify root cause of their disease.

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