Acts of self-betrayal

We all betray ourselves from time to time. However, when you betray yourself to the point that it adversely affects your day to day life, you need to take action. Stuff you do not do, or what you might do for self and others can be an act of self-betrayal. Whatever input or lack thereof that is not in your best interest, or where you are not acting with compassion is an act of self-betrayal

You might know what you want and what you need to get it. You might believe that you have strong core values. Yet, there is a difference between knowing what you want and acting with congruence. When you are not congruent, you betray yourself.

Self-betrayal comes from an inability to prioritise your needs which is a learned behaviour. However there is lack of self-awareness and therefore lack of self-management skills. In a state of self-betrayal there is an illusion of cleverness and a dose of manipulation. You might believe you are fixing someone or that nobody will recognise the self-betrayal or notice the self-destructive cycle. You end up depriving yourself of what is important due to poor judgement. People might notice but not intervene, because it is your story and you are the one struggling with your inner conflict.

Self-betrayal is when you make promises to yourself and you do not keep them. When you do not act with unconditional positive self-regard. If you keep doing this, you normalise this behaviour and it becomes your personality. People who see you, might feel you are dishonest or do not care about yourself.

Self-betrayal is when you believe that you are tougher than everyone else and step forward violently to threaten people or scare them away, when talking can help. Think "village bully!"

Self-betrayal is pretending to be who you are not, in order to impress other people.

You betray yourself when you proclaim that you are a good person, but have unhealthy habits and behaviours that are not in your best interest.

Self-betrayal is expecting loyalty from friends, lovers and family, when you are not loyal to yourself or do not respect yourself, your time and how you show up.

Self-betrayal is continuing self-destructive patterns in the hope that other people will change.

Self-betrayal is lack mindset where you might act like a victim. You might strongly accuse other people of treating you badly, yet go back to them.

You might complain when your circle tries to help you identify your short comings instead of standing up to yourself, and using your voice and energy to to address your inner discord and empower yourself.

Self-betrayal is trying to convince someone that they have a problem in order for you to feel that you know, you are the good person or that you do not need to do any work to improve.

You betray yourself when you seek popularity by any means when in fact, you might not like yourself.

Self-betrayal is trying to help others transform their inner lives, when you have no idea how to deal with your inner stuff.

Self-betrayal is agreeing with something you do not believe in, to appease people.

Self-betrayal involves betraying or not appreciating people who assist and support you.

Self-betrayal is pretending to be mild and tolerant, then becoming aggressive and passive aggressive because you resent that you did not speak your truth.

An inability to practice emotional self-control leads to self-betrayal. You end up lashing out at anyone or everyone.

You betray yourself when you stay in an unhealthy relationship knowing it makes you unhappy.

Self-betrayal is taking other people for granted.

Staying around enabling people who do not help you grow. You might keep people who help you fight your wars, people who have same addictions or who help you with your unhealthy habits.

You go against yourself when you continue to entertain friends who let you down.

What to do

Work on self-love for self-awareness and self-compassion

Face your darkness that you are avoiding. Self-betrayal comes with a resistance to step out of your comfort zone and look into your darkness.

Spend time getting to know who you are on a deeper level.

Know your yes and your no.

Be flexible as long as you adhere to your values and act in your best interest.

Learn emotional self-control. Overcome your weaknesses, be they behaviour and attitudes.

Create boundaries.

You can come home to yourself and learn to love on three levels. You can learn to practice unconditional peacefulness. Take the time to learn new habits.