A number of relationship lessons.

1. We do relationship according to how we were loved in childhood, unless we adapted and learn differently along the physical trail. Most of our behaviours are very subconscious. Learn about your behaviour, your traumas and how you can heal. 2. Unless we heal past our past, we are likely to continue unhealthy patterns in relationships. Nothing changes unless you change something. 3. Your partner owes you nothing. They are choosing and they can stop choosing you. 3. Relationships thrives when two healthy people with their own lives and individual sense of self come together, and continue to choose each other without pressure. 4. It is better to be alone than to be in a relationship where you do not know who you are where you stand and where you are going. 4. You cannot create a healthy relationship unless you know who you are and you learn to prioritise yourself. 5. You cannot get into a healthy relationship if you do not change something unhealthy in your present relationship. 6. You cannot meet the right person or a healthy partner until you let go of the wrong person or the present unhealthy relationship partner or your ex. 7. The person you want might not want you back. Learn to accept that not every bus is going to your destination. 8. Your partner might leave you at some point if they no longer feel safe, or that you are aligned with their purpose. 9. Many people genuinely want a healthy relationship, but they have learnt protective patterns which do not allow love in. 10. Forever after comes in many forms. It can be one text message exchanged, a glance held longer, a date, a month to 11 months together, or a year to many years together. When the end by date is due, forever after is complete. 11. You will have many forever afters in a lifetime. Learn to read the room. Above all, learn to enjoy the moment and let go. 12. Your partner is not your child. Or your parent. Learn to steer clear of control behaviours or enabling them. 13. You are supposed to enjoy life with your partner. Striving for your worth is not an option. 14. Relationships are containers for growth, not containers for war. Learn skills to create a healthy relationship. 15. You are responsible for your behaviour in a relationship. Own your experience and take responsibility. 16. As an adult, it is important to recognise the impact of your relationships on your well-being and your children's well-being and therefore, how the future generations will thrive. Consider all these aspects when in or choosing relationship. 17. You can be single and content. There is no pressure to choose relationship or singledom. Both are equally acceptable, as long as you are content with your choice. As long as you are acting in your best interest. 18. Relationships will trigger you , same as parenting. Prepare tools to manage yourself. Nothing is personal. 19. Following a break up, you need time to rest the body , to rest your system and to focus inwards. Set aside that time before you get back into the field, otherwise you learn nothing from life if you move from person to person. 20. Sometimes a break up is the best thing that can happen in your relationship. In that you might recognise that you had lost yourself.

21.It is not the length of the relationship that matters. It is the quality of it, and how much life it gave you. It is also the lessons that you learn.

22. Red flags are guidance for you to make decisions in your best interest. They will not disappear because you ignored them. You are responsible for acting on them.

23. Blame and guilt will not help you to change your behaviour. Forgiving yourself can allow you to recognise that you are a work in progress.

24. Only you can make decisions that will change the course of your life and your relationships.

25. The end of a relationship, not being in a relationship, or someone not wanting to be with you is not a demonstration of your worthiness.

26. Red flags are guidance for you to make decisions in your best interest. They will not disappear because you ignored them. You are responsible for acting on them. 27. Blame and guilt will not help you to change your behaviour. Forgiving yourself can allow you to recognise that you are a work in progress.