10 areas to address to heal your life

Just like cooking, healing your life requires ingredients to address the 4 dimensions of existence.  To improve your self-relationship, you need cognitive restructuring, emotional regulation,  spirituality, and vitality as well as the ability to lead your life authentically and make decisions that serve you.

 After the initial healing work, you need tools and skills to sustain a quality life or to keep applying the skills you learned in your therapeutic journey. 

Concepts and tools 

1. Stoicism for the dichotomy of control and taking responsibility for your life.

Live in the present moment and trust the process. The only time you have is now. 

Do not waste time. Life is short 

Meditation to quiet the mind, to reflect and evaluate yourself 

Purpose to believe in something greater than yourself  

2. Emotional intelligence 

Self-awareness: Heal the inner child to understand and connect with yourself 

Self-management: Tools to objectively evaluate emotions and create best interest decisions e.g SIFTSEM, self-parenting practices such as Selfcare and anxiety management techniques 

Social awareness: awareness of relationship dynamics to create strategies to manage your relationships. 

Awareness of the emotional states of others to be able to hold space and manage relationships 

Relationship management skills to navigate relationships healthily. 

3. Spirituality 

You need to believe in something higher than yourself. 

Make peace with life and death

Live a meaningful and purposeful life. Invest in others beyond yourself and your inner circle.

4. Self-love

Start with a self-care habit to improve your emotional baseline and learn to prioritize yourself. 

As you commit to meeting your needs, you begin to trust yourself.

Heal the inner child as a sign of compassion to yourself. Regulate emotions and show up with respect and dignity. 

5. Accountability

Look for an accountable person and community. This person will support you in learning skills and tools. 

You need co-regulation initially and throughout life, you need a support community. 

You need someone to contact instead of your ex or your unhealthy relationship partner 

6. Objective evaluation tool

Before you start healing work you need an objective evaluation tool for triggers and grounding tools to prevent retraumatising yourself when you start healing work. 

7. A system of living 

Learn a system to live on. An example is love on three levels. Level 1: Invest in your interests,  hobbies, and self-care. Take charge and responsibility for your life and emotions. 

Level 2: Invest in your circle. Give and receive love with 5 love languages and 5 senses 

Level 3: Give love with 5 love languages for the greater good.

8. Give and receive love with 5 love languages 

Learn to love yourself with 5 love languages as a habit 

Invest in quality time in self-care 

Take responsibility for your adult duties and roles. 

Monitor self-talk and use affirmations 

Sentimental gifts 

Self-hugs and Massages 

Also, give and receive love with 5 love languages in your circle 

9. Inner child work 

Reparent or heal your wounded inner child. Begin intentionally about addressing significant childhood events to self-parent.

Identify the relationship between your childhood events and your triggers. This helps you understand your needs for self-parenting. 

10. Assess and evaluate behaviour 

Assess your behaviour and why you do what you do. Use objective evaluation tools to assess unmet needs and self-parent. 

Apply replacement exercises and make changes to adjust behaviour and attitude.